Jareth's Merry Christmas
by CrystalDreamer620
Summary: Jareth doesn't like Christmas, and it's up to CrystalDreamer620 to make him hate her *cough cough* I mean, restore his faith in Christmas. It's sort of long, but please read and review anyways!


A/N: In light of the holiday season, I've decided to come up with another Labyrinth poem thingy. (Sorry to anyone who's noticed my absence, I haven't had much time to write lately.) Enjoy this poem/story, and as always remember, to review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth. I, being the narrator and CrystalDreamer, belong to myself, and despite everyone's claims that Jareth & Co. belong to Henson, I think they belong to themselves. (Don't tell me they're not real...)

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Jareth's Merry Christmas

Twas the day before Christmas,

And all through the Laby,

The goblins were restless,

And Jareth was crabby.

Perhaps it was Ambrosious,

Who howled all night,

But I think it was just

That his tights were too tight.

Jareth looked miserably around the labyrinth. Everyone was dressed up in red and green, peach wreaths hung from every door in the goblin city, and even the fierys were exchanging gifts. The labyrinth was festive to the point of Jareth's nauseation. This day could not get much worse...or so he thought.

And at that very moment,

Of that very day,

CrystalDreamer decided

To wish herself away.

She just opened her mouth,

And said what she said,

And there stood Jareth,

All decked out in red.

He tried to look kingly,

With his hair and his smirk.

But the Santa Claus outfit

Just plain didn't work.

Seeing the look of disgust on Crystal's face, Jareth looked down at the new outfit his mother had sent him. The laundry goblins were off for the holiday and all he had left was his new hideous red and white fur trimmed ensemble. Anyway, what difference would it make once she failed his labyrinth and was reduced to a lowly goblin?

As he pulled out the crystal,

And went on with the spiel,

CrystalDreamer informed him

"It's a sock, it's not real."

"Mother always makes my tights a size too small," he muttered to himself, as he and CrystalDreamer prepared to fly down to the labyrinth. "And it is _not_ a sock," he said doggedly.

"Suuure, J," Crystal said. "You just keep telling yourself that, and maybe you'll get your Christmas wish."

Just like his suit, 

Poor J turned quite red.

So he took her 

To the Labyrinth instead.

Jareth prepared

To call on his power,

But Crystal did not

Want to wait thirteen hours.

Seeing how incredibly bitter the goblin king was about the holidays, Crystal felt it was her duty to cheer him up, as well as torment him a little.

With sad, puppy eyes,

She tugged at his sleeves.

"Can I be a goblin instead?"

She asked, "Please?"

And so she transformed,

As he brought out the glitter.

J stalked to his room,

Still mildly bitter.

Her plan had worked! Jareth thought she actually _wanted_ to be a goblin forever, which gave her access to all the rooms in the castle, as well as a team of goblins to assist with her ploy. The sock joke, however, left J feeling quite down, so she had the majority of the afternoon to pursue her plan while he slept the day away.

He soon fell asleep,

Still dressed up in red,

As visions of Sarah

Ballroom-danced in his head.

Little did he know,

His latest addition

Recognized the need

For a top-secret mission.

CrystalDreamer, in goblin form, gathered all the mangy little creatures around her, while whispering to them her secret plan. "We'll throw a Christmas party for His Royal Tightness, and see if he at least has _a little_ holiday spirit under that icy shell," she finished.

"What'th in it for uth?" one of the goblins asked, his slight lisp severely reducing the level of intelligence he seemed to contain.

"No more Bog baths,

No more oubliette,

Just think of the presents

You're all bound to get.

Now you may be asking,

What's in it for me?'

Well, I'm in the labyrinth, 

Aren't I? Hee hee!

"Good point," he said. "C'mon, guyth, let'th do it!"

Goblins got peach wreaths,

Crystal got the tree,

The little goblin helpers

Were as happy as could be.

The castle was soon festive

Beyond all belief,

Even Charlie Brown Christmas

Was on TV. "Good grief!"

Labyrinth friends were arriving,

Sarah stopped by, too.

The goblin king was still asleep,

So what else could they do?

"We have to sing Christmas carols," CrystalDreamer said, passing Sir Didymus a second glass of eggnog.

"Thank you, milady, but whatever shall we sing?" Crystal whispered something in the noble knight's ear, and together they started singing to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,'

"Jareth, His Royal Tightness,

Had some very scary pants.

And if you ever saw them,

They'd make you want to Magic Dance.

All of the other goblins,

Used to run around and scream.

They always thought those pants,

Were about to bust a seam.

Then one boggy Christmas eve,

Crystal came to say,

Jareth with your pants so tight,

Won't you try these jeans tonight?'

Then all the goblins loved her  
As they shouted out with glee.

Crystal, the crazy author,

You'll go down in Labyrinth history!"

"Enough, enough," Jareth said, coming down the stairs still in his rumpled Santa suit. He didn't notice that one of the goblins had super-glued a Santa hat to his head while he was asleep...or at least he tried not to notice. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked.

Crystal, just slightly

Taken off guard,

Executed the plan

She had practiced so hard.

They all knew Peanuts

Was J's secret passion,

So they greeted him

In a Charlie Brown fashion.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, JARETH CLAUS!" came a chorus of voices, not quite in unison.

The rag-tag crowd

Started to softly sing,

As Crystal stood up

To go do her thing.

CrystalDreamer walked up the the goblin king, handing him the package, wrapped beautifully metallic green paper.

"From all of us," she said,

As the box was presented.

Though she well knew their gift

Would be resented.

He looked at them all

With a tear in his eye,

While desperately telling himself,

"Come on, J, don't cry."

"No one's ever given me a Christmas present before," he said, sniffling just loud enough for CrystalDreamer to hear. "Thank you, all of you, for such a lovely Christmas party!"

Under layers of tissue,

Inside the green box,

There lay a lifetime supply

Of rolled-up gray socks.

He threw them away,

Then fled from the hall,

But the girl was stealthy,

And swiped a crystal ball.

CrystalDreamer quickly bid farewell to her new friends, dashing off through the crowd before Jareth could catch up with her. Luckily, with the crystal orb she'd pilfered, the girl could pass freely between Underground and Aboveground. Her plan was just perfect...almost.

Safe back at home,

She sat down on a bench,

Just then she smelled

An over-powering stench.

Soon after she did, 

She realized her doom.

The bog was transported

Into her bedroom!

"Revenge is sweet,

This is stopping here.

I'll get him back

By the first of the year..."

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Ok, I swear, I meant this as a one-time thing, what Christmas just around the corner, but you know, I can't let him win, and I figured if I made it much longer, no one would read my story. Thanks for reading, and please review! (*_*)

~CrystalDreamer620~


End file.
